An inside-out life

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I’m sitting in Starbucks with my new Chromebook. It’s so much easier to blog on a keyboard than on a phone. Maybe now I can take it all more seriously. Or not.

And I’m stressed. I don’t want to be stressed. I don’t need to be stressed. And yet I am. And in my head I’m trying to work out why. I’m trying to figure out my day. What it is that I need to get done that will make it all better? Am I tired? Do I need to nap? Do I need to clean? Plan? Play? And if I become caught up in this, I’ll be off down the rabbit hole again. Because, there is nothing that I need to do. There is nothing that will make it better. I don’t have to do anything. The thoughts are there. The feelings are there. The stress is there. Dizziness. Headache. Anxiety. Anxious thoughts. Restlessness. Wanting to do so much. Not feeling able to. Not knowing what to do.

And I go to Starbucks. Knowing that it will pass. That at my core – I am still. My thoughts and feelings are not the truth. I can’t fix me because there’s nothing to fix. Only my belief or thoughts that say that there is. My thoughts and feelings that tell me that something’s wrong. Run. Fight. Fix it. Google. Search. Do this. Do that. Have counselling. Take medication. Rest. Help someone. Change your diet. Exercise. And on and on and on.

But… the answer comes from inside. We can’t change the external to affect the internal. The internal is already sorted. We simply need to know it. Live an inside out life. That’s where the rest comes from. The peace. The love. Our real selves. Hidden behind the external that we’ve built to create ourselves. When in reality, we are already perfect. The inside life is the true life. We already have all that we need. We already know all that we need to know.

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